Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s still here.

Tesla is forced to remove 64 Superchargers on NJ Turnpike, Musk claims ‘corruption’ - Electrek

You are like me, then.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

How would you define love?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

I was tired of fighting.

The players who will dominate MLB trade deadline rumors — and how likely it is they’ll be moved - New York Post

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

And the sadness?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Can trans people tell me what the criteria for a woman is excluding self identification (facts do not rely on self belief)?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of trying and failing.

If women see themselves as free, dignified, human beings just as good as men, can Trump hang it up and just lose in a landslide at last? How can men who like and respect women help improve womens' self-esteem?

Be who you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

General framework bridges quantum thermodynamics and non-Markovianity - Phys.org

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Ukraine Says It Attacked Crimean Bridge as Traffic Halted - Bloomberg.com

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I had run out of hope.

The sadness was still there.

Texas woman dies from brain-eating amoeba after cleaning sinuses with tap water - NBC News

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Earth's energy balance is rising much faster than scientists predicted, and we have no idea why - Live Science

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.